365 Days of Magnificence: A Year Without Fear

 IntroductionWhat Would Your Life Be Like—If You Had No Fear?I’d love you to step beyond the hypnotism of what you think you can and cannot do. Here’s what’s true:You are loved. You have everything you need.You are more powerful than you know.But fear or unquestioned negative beliefs, old stories, the voices of the media, or maybe those around you, may keep you from your boldest possibilities. Well, that’s about to change.I doubt you want a “mediocre” life. I doubt you want to just pay your bills or settle for a sort of loving relationship and call it good. I think you want to cry with gratitude when it’s all said and done. I’d like you to cry before then.This is your life. This is your chance. This is your time on earth.I want you to write the screenplay that moans in your bloodstream. I want you to love your child like no child has ever been loved before. I want you to run for office or run from your office or whatever nudges you in the sanctum of your heart. I want you to know the peace of the Dalai Lama, more freeing than a nice big bucket of Xanax, and a mainline of gratitude sweeter than any Starbucks Frappuccino.And I want you to laugh so freely your stomach hurts, just like you did when you were a kid. I want you to forgive yourself. I want you to fall madly in love with your husband or meet the love of your life and go skinny-dipping in the olive-green lake of your childhood.I want you to leave behind the situation that squats on your spirit like a sumo wrestler. I want you to eat better, drink less, or whatever nourishes and respects your precious body. I want you to take that vacation in Italy, take your company public, or sprawl out in your own backyard paradise in Poughkeepsie, drinking lemonade and watching blue jays on a Thursday. I want you to hit the note you came to sing—because life is set up for you to do that. I want you to know the Presence of a strength not of this world.I want you to drop your predictable goals and drop your jaw in awe—as you discover what you can really have this year.Forget about striving for only what you think you can have. I want to coach you into the extraordinary life that’s calling to you now.Through five-minute mind-set shifts, I want to help you uncover your astonishing potential, your own authentic steps or shifts, and the uncanny progress that develops from a radically loving relationship with yourself, others, and your life. The inspired power within you can accomplish anything at any time. Let this be your time.Welcome to a year without fear.Why I Wrote This Daily GuideYears ago as an overworked and soul-starved attorney, I walked along a beach and breathed in salt-drenched air, feeling as though I might want to end my life. Instead, I made the decision to begin my life in earnest. I made the wild and unorthodox decision to let go of that career, to let go of what society told me was safe and beneficial. I realized that it was fear that had compelled me to play it “safe,” attend Harvard Law School, graduate with honors, and work a bazillion hours for a major law firm—even though I had always dreamed of being a writer, not a lawyer.But I hadn’t called my motivation fear. I called it “being realistic.” I was just “being practical,” living life the way I’d been told you should live it.It was only when I stopped making choices out of fear that I discovered a whole new way to live. I had to learn to trust in a power beyond my intellect and a love that was more powerful than any resource I’d ever known. I had to learn how to love myself through bouts of anxiety and frustration into creativity, conviction, and inspired action. I began teaching and coaching, and published my first book, This Time I Dance! Creating the Work You Love, which gradually drew a following from around the world. I followed that book with my national best seller Inspired & Unstoppable: Wildly Succeeding in Your Life’s Work! Now I’m taking some of the wisdom from both those books as well as my e-book A Course in Miracles for Life Ninjas and including it here, along with other strategies and approaches I’ve taught for years.For the past two decades, I have been a career catalyst and inspired success coach. I’ve been in the media and led workshops, keynoted, and offered retreats throughout the United States and abroad. I’ve worked with thousands of individuals who, like me, knew they were here for something more. Yet they held themselves back. Many didn’t even realize the depths to which they held themselves back. They just lived the life they assumed they could have.I’ve seen how our own self-talk and beliefs about reality can corrode our potential. As a coach, I’ve seen how asking someone the right question can open up a whole new destiny. I know that real happiness or freedom doesn’t come from taking the “right steps.” It comes from cultivating our own inspired mind-set, the intimate, interior world we live in every single day.Your original instincts and genius are a love song between you and God (or the Universe, Spirit, Instinctive Self, or whatever you call an extraordinary consciousness). You are a life that has never been here before.When you really want to go beyond fear, it is not about force, platitudes, or manufactured behavior. That kind of impatience just leads to masking pain. True freedom is a conscious, everyday spiritual adventure. It’s a reinvention. It’s a wholly new relationship with yourself.I know you can achieve any inspired goal in your own inspired way. I want to see you thrive. I know it all depends on you generating a miraculous mind-set through daily choices. Are you choosing from fear or love? Insecurity or strength? Conditioning or intentionality? Are you letting go of self-criticism and becoming fiercely supportive of yourself and others?You’re making decisions every single day and, really, innumerable times during the day. I want to help you constantly make the ones that inspire your greatest love.There is a way to live a fearless life.And it’s a magnificent practice—a practice in flourishing for the rest of our lives.Daily MiraclesFor many, it’s not “convenient” to fit radical transformation into busy calendars. So I wanted to make this work accessible. Since you may never take a weekend retreat with me or hire me as your personal coach, I wanted to come to you.I want to fit into your backpack, your briefcase, your life, your morning ritual, or wherever I can meet you for a powwow. I want to remind you that you are safe. You are seeded with an invincible intrinsic wisdom. There is nothing limiting your true desires, except your limiting thoughts. I want to whisper the truth to you again and again. I want to beam so much love at you, your barriers just disintegrate into stardust. I want to encourage you to be braver than you think you can be—because you have the ability to be inspired at any second and to tap the strength of a thousand rivers converging.I want to be the voice you’re not hearing on the news or in your office—or, maybe, even in your home. Because I know you have an amazing life to live—stemming from an amazing mind-set—and it’s all a matter of practice.(By the way, if you’d like to experience these daily lessons in audio through your in-box [with 5-minute guided meditations to enrich and fuel your day], I’d love to offer you a week of this support for free. You can get it here: TamaKieves.com/free365.) And please come visit my world at TamaKieves.com to discover more support and resources, and a tribe of smart, fun, creative, and conscious people just like you.How to Use This BookThese are five-minute mind-set shifts/focuses/meditations designed to train your mind to walk into a new day. The intention you have for your day will create your day—your days create your life.A conscious mind-set requires practice. Unfortunately, you’ve heard negative messages more than once. That’s why reading a book and putting it down doesn’t often work. A Year Without Fear is a possibility you feed yourself every single day.I believe in the physics of synchronicity. I trust in your internal guidance system. I know each one of these messages will land where it needs to land. These words are vitamins, meant to feed your chemistry consistently. The truth is meant to be cumulative, repetitive, and symphonic.These mind-set shifts are call and response. I say these words to you and your spirit answers. Your soul supplies the context, fills in the memories, or reprograms the circuits. Maybe you will try something new in your day. Your experiment will open you up to a different experience. These experiences promote your confidence. And confidence attracts exciting opportunities. You’ll notice that the tiniest effort can liberate the floodgates of joy.Here’s What I Want You to DoFirst, and always, I want you to do what you want to do. (This is a book about letting go of fear and trusting where you feel led. To me that’s more important than anything, including you using this book. You’re here to follow your inspired guidance, not mine.)Each day, imagine that these words were chosen on this very day just for you, by me, your very own career/inspired success coach. Or maybe it helps you to think of these words as coming to you from a future self, the one who is living your dreams, or from the voice of your beloved Inner Teacher. Allow the message to marinate, infiltrate, speak to the electric one within you . . . and remind him or her to come out and play. You don’t have to understand it or even think it applies to you.Perhaps keep a special journal by your side. Journal any insight, commitment, or actions that come to you as you take these words in. Remember, you are entering inspired time as you read these daily invitations. The ideas, questions, or emotions that arise for you during this time are even more important than the words I wrote on the page. Pay attention to what comes up for you when you read them, as well as what arises throughout the day.Here are some suggestions for how to use this book:   • Have a heartfelt conversation about these words with your loved one. (A breakfast ritual. Intention partner. Work team. Support group. Spirit.)   • Journal about whatever comes up as you meet these thoughts. Or do a yoga pose with them.   • Create an art journal around these words. Doodle, draw, paint, collage.   • Play “guidance roulette”: open a page spontaneously. See what message arrives for you.Oh, and please stay true to yourself. If you miss a day or month, don’t decide that you can’t still have results. Choose again. Begin to listen to your wisdom now. It’s always the right time. You’re never behind. Wherever you are, love will meet you there.Daily, I will weave in a question or intention. I’m not talking to your everyday mind. I’m talking to the unlimited one within you. I’m planting suggestions and seeds of creativity. I’m reminding you of what you already know. I want this to be a daily conversation with your True Self.Some of these daily thoughts may seem to contradict one another. For example, I might tell you to trust inaction, while another day I suggest you take an action whether you feel like it or not. Real love is a prism. And I am offering only a facet a day. Only you can decide when a truth applies to you and when it does not. And, sometimes, finding a suggestion that isn’t right for you catapults you into the clarity of what is.How Do You Get over Fear?How do you get past that immediate impulse to fight, flee, or eat massive amounts of pasta? Let’s face it—these stellar options are brought to you by the amygdala, the primitive reptilian brain that didn’t know a thing about finding yourself, raising enlightened children, or getting a book deal. I don’t know about you, but I don’t want a lizard being in charge of my evolution and life. I want an eagle. I want an angel. I want to choose from the golden throne of being centered, alive, and attuned to what I really want. That’s what I want for you, too. You will make exponentially different choices from a different part of yourself.When I was in therapy, I just wanted to cut the fear out—do a lobotomy—or burn it to a pulp. But it turns out (no matter how much you offer to pay these people) that you do not remove fear by attacking it. You cannot “get rid of” fear by focusing on fear.You let go of fear by focusing on love. Love is the answer to fear.By love, I don’t mean romantic love or pious, saccharine kindness. Love is attention, creativity, generosity, support, and the letting go of self-judgment. There are infinite ways to love and free yourself of fear.Psychology, peak performance, religion, and spirituality all offer techniques and belief systems for how to face or overcome fear. In my own personal growth and in my work with clients and students, I’ll use anything and everything that works. That said, I have taught A Course in Miracles (an internationally popular spiritual psychotherapy program) for twenty-five years, so of course that material runs rampant in my bloodstream. Drawing from all my studies and hands-on experience, I’ve tended to land on three main tenets. I offer them here, since I deliberately repeat and expand on these themes throughout this book:   • Everything is either love or fear. The best way to get out of fear is to get into love. If you focus on something you love or you do something you love or you hold love for another, your fear will not be there. You cannot feel fear in the same moment that you are feeling love.   • Stay in the present moment. All fear comes from thinking about the future or thinking about the past. In the present moment, absent self-judgment, all is well. You connect with your own wholeness and true light.   • There is another way to see everything. If you are in fear, you are seeing something from a painful point of view. You are telling a painful story. There is another way to experience this. There is a loving perspective that will free you. When you are connected to your Spirit, there are no remaining painful stories.For most of us, moving beyond fear is not an overnight shift. It’s not a pill. It’s a practice. It’s a pilgrimage. It’s a commitment to fill our minds with new conditioning, new perspectives—basically, the ideals that set us free.By the way, fear, as I’m talking about it, isn’t just terror. It’s insecurity. Shame. Anger. Bitterness. Guilt. Frustration. Anything that blocks your peace of mind or joy. Or holds you back from what you desire. People ask me, “You mean I shouldn’t ever have fear? What about normal fear like when I see a tiger?”I am all for your natural and brilliant instincts. I bless the fight-or-flight response that saves your life. I do not bless the kind of fear that destroys or drains your life. There is a difference. Likewise, I bless the healing face of grief or the kind of anger that moves you toward actions or awareness that serve your wholeness. I do not bless the emotional states that keep you stuck.And so, dear one, let’s begin. I want you to choose who you will be in this lifetime rather than having circumstances choose for you. I want you to wake up to your own fearless potential and that of every human being. And I want you to know I’m here, believing in you, practicing in my own life, and championing the power of all our fearless love.01  january•   •   •   •   •   •   •   •   •   •   •   •   •   •As you begin this New Year, know that you are moving into a time like no other. There are wild, abundant forces gathering around you. Some of your visions have taken root and will now blossom. Some pain will evaporate. Love you can’t imagine is on its way. All along, you’ve been preparing for this time.Today, I practice knowing that I am moving into a time like no other.02  january•   •   •   •   •   •   •   •   •   •   •   •   •   •You’re in this life to love. You’re here to go all in. Sure, you might get rejected by a job, gatekeeper, or lover. But the love that comes through you comes to you. You expand by sharing your soul. In this New Year, shrinking is over. It’s time to give this life everything you’ve got.Today, I know that in this New Year, shrinking is over. I am here to go all in.03  january•   •   •   •   •   •   •   •   •   •   •   •   •   •Astonish yourself in this lifetime. Discover your own faculties. You did not come here to settle on the sidelines and watch others live their dreams. When did you stop believing you could have what you wanted? Why did you stop believing? Burn this story. Begin again. You are anointed. You are not alone. Give the Universe another chance to give you your chance.Today, I begin again. I am willing to give myself another chance to have what I want.04  january•   •   •   •   •   •   •   •   •   •   •   •   •   •When you’re in transition, you are in the boot camp of mysterious powers. You leave behind the protection and the hindrance of the familiar. Sometimes you are stripped of worldly comforts, casual identities, and chances to just coast. These times may bring you to your knees. Sometimes it’s only limits that can teach us how unlimited we are.Today, I realize that it is my current “limits” that will teach me how unlimited I am.05  january•   •   •   •   •   •   •   •   •   •   •   •   •   •When you do what you came here to do, it makes you stronger. When you do not do what you came here to do, it makes you weaker. Sometimes, in a weak place, you feel you have no energy, ability, or self-confidence to act. You may feel just a bit more like a jellyfish with a tide going the wrong way than, say, the tiger you’d hoped you’d be. But you’re wrong. When you move toward your light, your feet find solid ground. It’s not you who empowers your gifts. Your gifts empower you.Today, I take any small step toward doing or discovering what I came here to do.06  january•   •   •   •   •   •   •   •   •   •   •   •   •   •Feeling fear doesn’t mean things aren’t working out. Sometimes, the bigger your dreams, the louder your fears. This is a path of learning how to be gentle with yourself, and also fierce. Just because a part of you believes you are never going to have what you desire doesn’t make it true. The real truth about you is the life beyond your fears.Today, I know things are working out.07  january•   •   •   •   •   •   •   •   •   •   •   •   •   •It’s not being “realistic” to doom yourself to stagnation. Why would you tell yourself that you could achieve only that which you’ve already experienced? You’re still developing, aren’t you? It’s never realistic to deny the miraculous. That’s annihilation. The reality is—you are a miracle. You are a growing, conscious vessel of the infinite and alive. Your inner voice is the compass between the landscapes of what you currently know and what you may yet know in your lifetime.Today, I remember that I am more than what I’ve experienced. I am a growing, conscious expression of infinite love.08  january•   •   •   •   •   •   •   •   •   •   •   •   •   •Do you feel like your true expression will cost you the approval of others? It might. But it will attract the people you really want. Your wild truth will awaken the creativity and resourcefulness of other people, people you don’t even know yet, people you may not even know you want to know—people who can get things done. You will have your people. (From Inspired & Unstoppable: Wildly Succeeding in Your Life’s Work!)Today, I will trust that my true expression will call my right people to me.09  january•   •   •   •   •   •   •   •   •   •   •   •   •   •Inspiration is an invitation to new abundance. It’s not just the invitation to create a song, a business, a soufflé, or a screenplay. It’s the invitation to create yourself. The creator is changed by the created. Yet if you refuse to listen to your own new ideas, you hold back the unlimited within you. You may think you’re just being “reasonable.” But how could it ever be rational to deny your greatest powers?Today, I pay attention to my new ideas.10  january•   •   •   •   •   •   •   •   •   •   •   •   •   •Today, don’t just go to your desk or kitchen. Make the familiar your “temple,” the place where you are made anew. Everyone you meet is secretly asking you to hold their hand, ease their fears, and accept them. We’re all in this together. Today, be a lover, a mystic, and a presence. Pierce the veil. Extend compassion.Today, I will be a lover, a mystic, and the presence of compassion.11  january•   •   •   •   •   •   •   •   •   •   •   •   •   •It is not “selfish” to pursue your interests, respond to what brings you joy, and turn your life into one lotus flower opening in sunlight. It’s responsible. You are responsible to the calling within you. When you do things you love to do, you become free of inner anguish. You radiate generosity. You have light to give the world.Today, I act responsibly by doing something I love.12  january•   •   •   •   •   •   •   •   •   •   •   •   •   •In yoga, the slower you move, the stronger you become. It’s true of major transitions, too. If you don’t rush into things, you build heat and an inner relationship with yourself that can move through anything. The point of transition isn’t to get somewhere else. It’s to become someone else.Today, I am willing to go slower in my life and build heat and a relationship with myself.13  january•   •   •   •   •   •   •   •   •   •   •   •   •   •You cannot listen to self-judgment and your Inspired Self at the same time. Self-judgment doesn’t make you stronger. It makes your fear stronger. Let go of self-judgment—by realizing it is never telling you the truth—and clarity and joy will emerge. Take the nurturing road. It’s the only way to inspired power.Today, I remember that when I’m listening to self-judgment, I cannot hear the voice of Guidance.14  january•   •   •   •   •   •   •   •   •   •   •   •   •   •Thinking “positively” doesn’t mean your car insurance company doesn’t double your rates at the exact moment you lose your job and also discover you need a new part for your car, say, an engine. It doesn’t mean your loved one doesn’t eat fourteen scones and a gallon of cookie dough ice cream before taking his insulin shot so as to control his diabetes. It doesn’t mean you get the contract. It does mean you continue to show up for life with love. You remain present and take continuous, empowered actions no matter what. This transforms the quality of your every experience. Now you’re not hoping for results. You’re already getting them.Today, I show up with love no matter what.15  january