A Man’s Guide to Style: Paisley Goes with Nothing

Fifty Things Every Man Must Know1.  How to write a thank-you note2.  The birthday or anniversary of anyone whose picture sits on your desk or rests in your wallet3.  A good tailor and magical reweaver4.  That nothing will make you feel better before you get off a plane than putting on a fresh pair of socks5.  How to tie a full Windsor knot6.  One clean joke7.  The difference between worsted, crepe, and twill8.  How to give a compliment9.  How to take a compliment10.  The private number of at least three wonderful restaurants and the first names of their respective ma¯tre d's11.  That you don't put salt around a margarita12.  One card trick13.  The colors you can't wear and the suit cuts you can14.  The Zen of washing dishes15.  The names of two uncommon champagnes–and that you don't open either by making the cork pop16.  That if you can go a whole season without wearing a particular piece of clothing, you should give it to charity17.  One poem by heart18.  How to cook at least one good meal19.  The European equivalents of your sizes20.  Your mate's important sizes21.  That you're supposed to go through a revolving door before she does, so you can push22.  That sewing is not woman's work23.  How to play poker24.  The way to find the North Star25.  The names of a dozen different flowers (mums don't count) and of a florist who'll deliver them26.  That you never read the newspaper or eat anything while wearing suede27.  CPR28.  That the only woman who will ever love you unconditionally is your mother29.  How to make friends with a three-year-old30.  Where you vote31.  When it's your little brain talking, not your big brain32.  That Philip Roth, and not Norman Mailer, is the conscience of his generation33.  How to shine a pair of shoes without ending up like you're auditioning for a minstrel show34.  The name of whoever does your dry cleaning35.  That strong-arming, calling out to, or snapping for a waiter is only slightly more attractive than chewing with your mouth open36.  That it doesn't matter how good your recent workouts have been if you haven't done abdominals37.  The shape of your face38.  Kiehl's Rare Earth Facial Cleansing Mask stops razor cuts faster and less painfully than a styptic pencil39.  You put neither cinnamon nor chocolate atop a cappuccino, and "espresso" is pronounced as it's spelled40.  An unconstructed jacket should not be cheaper just because it doesn't have a lining41.  That when a woman says no, she means no42.  Camcorders are to spontaneity what a hailstorm is to the U.S. Open43.  That you never show up for dinner at anyone's house empty-handed44.  That unless your hair is incredibly oily, you shouldn't wash it every day45.  That if you spill red wine on the carpet, spill white wine on top of it immediately46.  Someone who gets you into a showroom sale47.  When to leave48.  Saying "I don't know" is not as unattractive as you think49.  That your father understands you better than you think50.  Good taste is not nearly as much fun as style