Learning to Talk More Gooder Fastly: Jeff Foxworthy’s Redneck Dictionary III

Aaabil3;i3;ties (e-bil0;-et-Σz), n. and pron. a statement of charges for services rendered and subsequent action to be taken by a specified male person. “I don’ care if he’ broke, Ma, the house payment’ abilities got to pay.”ac3;ne (ak0;-nΣ), v. and n. concerning a male person’behavior and the result of that behavior. “Once againwe took him to a fancy restaurant, and he didn’ knowhow to acne made a fool of himself.”ac3;quire (e-kwΠer0;), n. a group of singers, especiallythose who perform during religious ceremonies. “Shesings so pretty, she should join acquire.”ac3;quit (e-kwit0;), n. and v. a personal declaration ofresignation from an assigned task. “You ain’ firin’me, ’uz acquit!”ac3;tiv3;ist (akt0;-ev-ist), v. and conj. to behave in acertain manner, particularly one based on another reality.“She seduced me into signing that petition, and nowshe activist she don’ know me!”ad3;min3;is3;ter (at-mi0;-ne-ster), adj. and n. a specificclergyman or agent of a government, as designatedby the observer. “I tell ya, administer is a goodman.”af3;ford (e-f≤d0;), n. an automobile manufacturedby the motor company that produced the Model T. “IfI had the money for a car, I’ want to buy afford.”air3;line (er0;-lΠn), adv. and v. concerning the locationand dishonesty of the person being addressed or discussed.“Don’ sit airline about it, boy . . . tell the truth!”al3;i3;bi (al0;-e-bΠ), n. and v. the predicted future purchasesby a male named Albert, Alfred, or Alvin. “Healways invite Al, ’ause alibi drinks for everybody.”anal (a¯n0;-≤), v. and pron. being inferior to what oneexpects. “Enemas anal they’e cracked up to be.”an3;ar3;chist (an-er-kist0;), conj., n., and v. additionally,having pressed one’ lips to another’ as an expressionof affection or sensual desire. “Anarchist herma, anarchist her sister, anarchist her gramma, anarchisther other sister, anarchist her other other sister, andthen her dad walked in and . . .”an3;noys (e-n≤z0;), n. a loud or irritating sound.“Hell, I wouldn’’e peed my pants if I hadn’ heardannoys!” ant3;hill (en-til0;), conj. up to a point in time. “Iwon’ set foot in that room anthill he cleans it up!”an3;ti3;pas3;to (an0;-tΣ-past-e), n. and v. to dischargefrom the body, as done by the female sibling of a parentof the speaker. “After eatin’all that salami lastnight, my antipasto kidney stone.”ar3;chery (ärch0;-er-Σ), n. and conj. a male person’ultimatum relating to a curved structure, usually onethat serves as the roof or overhang of a passageway.“He went off to St. Louis, sayin’he was dang sure he wasgoin’to see the archery weren’ coming back.”ar3;i3;zo3;na (er0;-ez-o¯ n-e), n., v., and adv. phrase delimitingthe quality of the gaseous atmosphere surroundingthe earth. “I’d move to Denver, but with all thesmog that Arizona slightly better than it is here in L.A.”ar3;kan3;sas (ärk0;-en-s≤, n. and v. a flat-bottomedboat in conjunction with an observer’ visual perception.“Noah finished the Arkansas that it was good.”ar3;son (ar0;-sen), adj. and n. pertaining to the maleoffspring of the speaker. “I know I swore arson didn’set fire to your car, Sheriff, but I guess I misspoke.”at3;mo3;sphere (et0;-mes-fir), pron. and v. a conjectureabout the feelings of anxiety of a certain being.“The way that ol’Red tucks his tail, now, that’ a dog atmospherehis owner.”at3;trac3;tor (e-trak0;-ter), n. a motor-propelled machineused mainly in agriculture. “My uncle cuts hisgrass with attractor.”au3;di (a≥-dΣ), n. a protrusion; usually used to describethe knotted flesh on the stomach of a humanleft after the severing of the umbilical cord. “Most peoplehave an ‘nnie,’but Roy’ belly button is definitely anAudi.”au3;ra (≤0;-e), conj. and adj. a phrase indicating achoice between one thing and another. “You gettin’aQuarter Pounder aura Big Mac?”au3;to3;mate (≤-te-ma¯t), v. a suggestion for procreation.“I know we just met tonight, baby, but I think weautomate.”