Raise a Happy Teenager: Teach Yourself

: INTRODUCTION: 1. Changes; from child to adolescent: Physical changes: Mental changes: Emotional changes: Social changes: 2. What do teenagers need?: The same as usual – love and attention: A different emphasis – ‘helpful attention’: 3. Understanding behaviour: Identifying the link between feelings, needs and behaviour: Behaviour, not the teenager, is the problem: Modelling expressing needs: Using ‘I’ language: Understanding your own feelings and behaviour: 4. Communication: Everyday chat leading to important talks: How to get out of unhelpful patterns: 5. Listening and talking, negotiating and compromising: Listening is a key skill: Using tone and attention to talk effectively: Giving choices, hearing requests: 6. Whose problem is this?: Separating out our problems from theirs: Learning how to NOT ‘fix it’: Giving teenagers responsibility: 7. Points of conflict;: Appearance (clothes, hair, make-up, body piercing): Manners/respect: Tidiness: Homework: School/truancy: Doing chores: Friends: Food and eating: Time to be home: Use of telephone/internet/TV/games station: Use of car, parents as taxi drivers: Parties and other group activities: Drugs: Sex.: 8. Helping them fly: The Circle of Dependence: Encouraging independence and letting go: Parental fears and anxieties about letting them go: 9. Looking after yourselves: How to be self-aware and look after yourself and each other: 10. Final word – Do as I say, not as I do…: Looking to your own life, to model how you want your teens to behave.: APPENDIX: Further Help – organisations providing help and recommended reading list.