The Fabulous Girl’s Guide to Decorum

IntroductionManners will make you fabulous. Manners are sexy. The well-mannered get invited to more dinner parties and have a wider array of friends and colleagues who admire them. These are the basic tenets of The Fabulous Girl's Guide to Decorum.The idea for this book came to us gradually over the course of one too many encounters with the socially inept, suffering through bad dinner parties and enduring thoughtless comments. Nearly once a week we would find ourselves on the phone or over tea, railing, "They didn't even put food out until11 p.m.! There was no music at all!" or "She showed up to the cocktail party in jeans and a charity fun run T-shirt" or "We ran into his ex and he didn't even introduce me."It began to add up. People are rude and inconsiderate to each other every day and in every circumstance, and what's worse, they don't seem to realize it. Perhaps they just didn't know any better. In addition to being vexed by the inadequacies of others, we were crippled by an inability to correct the offenders. As every well-mannered person knows, to correct someone else's breach in etiquette is itself an infraction.Unless, it finally struck us, we were experts.And after a lifetime of passionate interest in the subject and experience in a great many milieux, surely we had become experts in etiquette. Having lived as single girls, party girls, married women, out-of-workniks, professionals, world travellers and fashion addicts, we knew the world and, frankly, the way it ought to work.The essential equation of etiquette is simple: Be nice and assume niceness in others — just like your mother said. Beyond this basic belief, of course, there are specific details for situations, but the foundation is always the same.Manners are an integral part of good citizenship. Consideration for others and not only for one's own wants and needs is necessary if a person is to be a valuable member of her world. When people of varying cultures and economic brackets must, increasingly, live side by side, etiquette becomes a modern requisite. Pleasant manners are just plain more appealing than bad manners. Behaving in a thoughtful way helps both morally and aesthetically to make the world a better place.There is a kind of woman who understands this implicitly: We've named her the Fabulous Girl. You know the Fabulous Girl, don't you? She's Holly Golightly, the girl you must have at your cocktail party. She's smart, fun, stylish and, of course, beautifully well-mannered. She's the friend who always knows when you need a shoe-shopping expedition to lift your spirits. She's the one who calls you after your disastrous dinner party and insists that she had a marvellous time. She's the girl you admire, the girl you want to be.No one is born perfect, and we all have a learning curve toward good manners. And so this book is both a celebration of the fully formed Fabulous Girl and a primer for the Fabulous Girl in training. The life of the modern woman is wonderfully full — work, friendship, romance and sex (we know they aren't always the same thing) are all vital to her happiness. In The Fabulous Girl's Guide to Decorum we will set down modern rules for every circumstance — from bedroom to boardroom — so that we're all armed with the appropriate arsenal of etiquette. Because you need to know how to handle a one-night stand just as much as you need to know how to set the table.To illustrate this learning curve we've included the FG as fictional heroine throughout the book. Consider her a guide to ease the journey to good manners.Contrary to popular belief, manners will not make you a bore or a snob. Quite the opposite: Individuals who possess skill with etiquette are admired and desired for it. If you are well-mannered, people will want to come to your dinner parties and will want you at theirs. Manners can make you fabulous, girl — a Fabulous Girl.ConversationLanguage is a tool, and the Fabulous Girl must learn to use it. Of course the FG moves through life with an uncanny ability to converse with them and charm others from all walks of life, be they neurosurgeons or gardeners. That's right: an FG is skilled at making anyone feel comfortable and worthy. (p. 64)Men FriendsThe Fabulous Girl will have a long list of male friends — be they ex-boyfriends, platonic pals or men who wish they were the boyfriend. Male friends are an important part of a well-balanced social diet. (p. 125)The Fabulous Girl's Perfect Day Shopping with her best FG9:30 A.M.Rise after an extra-long beauty rest. A light buy energy-boosting breakfast.Wardrobe: White or flesh-tone thong, button-up shirt, skirt and slip-on flats.Grooming: Shower, full hair and makeup.Fabulous Girl Tip: A watch is your only accessory.11:00 A.M.Meet best friend at the nicest shopping district in town.Try on lots of clothes whether or not you intend or can afford to buy anything.Fabulous Girl Tip: Try on clothes only pre-lunch to ensure a flat stomach.1:30 P.M.Ladies Who Lunch: Tablecloths, and table service.Table Talk: gossip, fashion, men, goals.Fabulous Girl Tip: No fast food.2:30 — 4:00 P.M.Après Lunch: Giving the "maybes" a second look.Manicures, pedicures, magazines, shoe shopping.Fabulous Girl Tip: Swollen feet guarantee fit.4:00 — 5:00 P.M.Tea, read, nap.5:00 P.M.Unpack.Private fashion show.Remove tags and put away new threads.Fabulous Girl Tip: Revel in your good taste.(pp. 127-128)SouvenirsLike a notch in a belt, some women choose to collect items from lovers as tokens of their night together. Whether it's sweatshirts or lighters, this is not a practice of an FG — at least not one out of high school. (p. 156)VisitorsAside from overnight house guests, an FG will receive company into her home frequently and will visit her own friends too. There are a few details of which all should be aware. Never answer someone else's telephone unless you are expressly asked to. Don't open the fridge or help yourself to food and coffee unless invited to. (p. 261)