The Speaker’s Book of Quotations, Completely Revised and Updated

AGEHow to make a king smile, or a president, or a CEO, or a newfound friend:"After years of trying to put people at ease before an interview, I havefound the perfect solution. You shake hands, take a step back, look the person in the eye, and exclaim with astonishment, "Why, you look so much younger than your photographs!" It works every time. The age of a woman doesn't mean a thing. The best tunes are played on the oldest fiddles." Sigmund Z. EngelAs quoted in NewsweekJuly 4, 1949"Every age has a keyhole to which its eye is pasted."Mary McCarthy (1912-1989)American author, criticAs quoted in ForbesJuly 26, 1999"Age is not particularly interesting. Anyone can get old. All you have todo is live long enough."Groucho Marx (1890-1977)American actorGroucho and Me"I don't generally feel anything until noon, then it's time for my nap."Bob Hope (b. 1903)American comedianAs quoted in the   International Herald TribuneAugust 3, 1990"When you are younger you get blamed for crimes you never committed andwhen you're older you begin to get credit for virtues you never possessed.It evens itself out."I. F. Stone (1907-1989)American journalistAs quoted in the International Herald TribuneMarch 16, 1988"A man does not get old because he nears death; a man gets old because hecan no longer see the false from the good."Charles Bukowski (1920-1994)American authorScreams from the Balcony:   Selected Letters, 1993"The older you get the stronger the wind gets–and it's always in your face."Jack Nicklaus (b. 1940)American athleteAs quoted in the International Herald TribuneFebruary 28, 1990"A man has every season while a woman only has the right to spring. Thatdisgusts me."Jane Fonda (b. 1937)American actressAs quoted in The Daily MailSeptember 13, 1989"The businessman is the person to whom age brings golf instead of wisdom."George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950)Irish playwright"When I get up in the morning the first thing I do is read the obituaries.If my name's not in there, I shave."George Burns (1896-1996)American comedianBernard Baruch at a press conference on his ninety-fifth birthdayannounced that during the next year he'd learn to speak Greek fluently. Areporter asked: "Mr. Baruch you're ninety-five years old. Why would youwant to speak Greek now?" He replied: "I am ninety-five years old. It'snow or never.""Buy old masters; they fetch a much higher price than older mistresses."Lord William Maxwell Aitken Beaverbrook (1879-1964)British financier, statesman, and newspaper owner"Why can't life's problems come to us at eighteen when we know everything?"Anonymous"Growing old is no more than a bad habit which a busy man has no time toform."Andre Maurois (1885-1967)French biographer and novelist"To me, old age is always fifteen years older than I am."Bernard Baruch (1870-1965)American statesman and financierSpeech, November 1960, Overseas  Press Club, New York City"Age does not matter if the matter does not age."Carlos Pena Romulo (1901-1985)Philippine diplomat, educator, and former presidentSpeech upon retirement from the U.N.When Somerset Maugham was recuperating from the flu an admirer called andasked, "Could I send you fruit, or would you prefer flowers?" He waseighty-eight years old. He told her, "It's too late for fruit, too early for flowers."W. Somerset Maugham (1874-1965)British authorWhen I made my debut as a twelve-year-old in Berlin, people used to say,"Isn't he wonderful for his age?" Now they're beginning to say the samething again.Mischa Elman (1891-1967)American violinist, born in RussiaOn his 70th birthdayChauncey Depew met Mary Garden, the Metropolitan Opera star who had afigure equal to her talent. Seeing her in a gown of pronounceddecolletage, he asked her what keeps her dress up. She replied, "Twothings: your age and my discretion."Chauncey M. Depew (1834-1928)American lawyer, legislator, orator"I always wake up in the morning a young man."Carlos Pena Romulo (1901-1985)"I do not feel any age yet. There is no age to the spirit.""Children are a great help. They are a comfort in your old age. And theyhelp you reach it faster, too.""How old would you be if you didn't know how old you were?"Ruth Gordon (1896-1984)American actress, playwright"Nothing is free. Even age. Age is the fee God charges for life.""You can take no credit for beauty at sixteen. But if you are beautiful atsixty, it will be your soul's own doing."Marie Stopes (1880-1958)British advocate of birth controlYou know you're getting older when the candles cost more than the cake.Bob Hope (b. 1903)American comedian"One of the many things nobody ever tells you about middle age is that it'ssuch a nice change from being young."Dorothy Canfield Fisher (1879-1958)American author"Youth is the gift of nature, but age is a work of art."Garson Kanin (b. 1912)American author